Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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