now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize