She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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