She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize