This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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