Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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