So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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