he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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