Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize