Only a mothe r could love this liver
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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