You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize