Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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