I showed him my bush... on skype.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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