i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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