Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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