oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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