you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
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I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
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My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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