I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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