How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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