Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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