just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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