May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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