No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
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We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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