i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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