the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize