You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize