But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
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There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
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I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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