So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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