belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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