just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think a kid would responsible me up
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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