sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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