YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
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I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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