on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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