I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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