Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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