My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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