Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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