Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
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No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
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There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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