Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize