eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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