Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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