Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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