I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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