You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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