I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
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Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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