It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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