mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
well you can't waste a boner
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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