I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
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Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
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Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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