she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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