fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
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pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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